Thursday, October 12, 2006

Further Down the Rabbit Hole

new position at work. new apartment. new people. new adventures. 10 minute walk from the hollywood attractions...

i walked up to the boulevard yesterday.

there's a creepy rabbit-man there. not exactly like frank from donnie darko -- he feels much more evil than frank. his costume is filthy. he waves at passerby. i don't know what he's waiting for. he doesn't seem to be collecting money or anything.

but i think if i had children, i'd take them to get like easter pictures taken with the filthy rabbit-man . . . you know, to creep out the relatives.

i bet if that guy keeps sitting there, in a few years, word will spread about him, and he'll be as much an attraction as the chinese theater itself. people will be like "oh yeah, we did the whole hollywood and highland thing, saw the chinese theater, put our hands in all the celebrity handprints, took some pictures at the kodak, pretended we were walking down the red carpet, got a picture with the creepy bunny guy . . . "

people will throw money at him and he'll be rich.

he sits in front of the gap. they might call him "the gap bunny." or "the filthy, evil gap rabbit man"

or they might arrest him next april for handing out poisoned candy at easter time.

but then he might be an undercover cop -- keeping tabs on all the shady hollywood riffraff. busting transvestite hookers and drug dealers. he'd produce a shiny badge from beneath his grungy fur with one paw, and with the other he'd snag his gun. filthy gap rabbit-style justice.

whatever the case, he's the perfect hollywood icon.

it's such a fresh idea: unabashedly and unashamedly displaying your insanity for tourist and local alike -- and not in the clicheed methods of years past; men dressing like female sluts, good-for-nothing actors dressing like comic book characters and superheros and shaking down the poor visitors for change, talking to yourself in public (the shock value there is completely gone what with everyone talking on their bluetooth all the time), and of course dancing wildly in the street.

i hope he makes it onto jimmy kimmel or ryan seacrest or at least the tv guide channel. i don't even know if they still shoot any of that crap up there.

that rabbit should host some show.

The Evil Gap Rabbit Man's Hollywood Glamour Report
Disgusting Rabbit's Film and Television News Hour
i don't know.

crusty boulevard bunny-suit man, i salute you. you are a visionary.

in my next blog, i'll discuss why i think life on the island in "Lost" is just like life here in L.A.
i'll call it "Dharma Sharks in Lala Land."