Couponium



photo courtesy of Alvimann/morgueFile

Naturalists love kayaking around beautiful Tybee Island, Georgia. Naturists, however, do not, as the good people at Ocean Kayak Tybee request that you keep your bathing suit on as you explore the scenic coastline. At the very least, you’ll have to wear a life jacket when you take a half-day tour for less than half-price with today’s Couponium.

Primo paddlers and rookies alike will love this $25 three-hour tour (a $55 value). Register ahead of time and show up at 10:30 a.m. for orientation. From 11 a.m. until 2 p.m., you’ll be up to your eyeballs with gorgeous ocean scenery. Not literally, we hope.

Since early 2011, Ocean Kayak Tybee has catered to coastal canoeists and kayakers. They sell and rent boats and equipment, and they offer trips and training. Their School of Coastal Kayaking prepares would-be watermen with American Canoe Association skills. They also license and train kayak instructors and offer British Canoe Union Star Awards, as only the most competent canoeists can commute from Great Britain to Georgia. From sea kayak surfing to sanguine salt marsh paddles led by a certified guide, Ocean Kayak Tybee is your HQ for small self-powered seacraft supplies, rentals, training, and tours.

The cabin-like shoppe, worthy of the olde English spelling, is lined with canoes and kayaks all around its exterior. It’s located at the terminus of US Highway 80, just 13 miles east of Savannah. While browsing, you may encounter Marcia Benson and Bobby Clemp, co-owners of OKT and Tybee Island locals. Tell them Couponium sent you, and get to know them. Their Southern hospitality and charm will bring you back for more wet and wild fun.

Why Angelenos Don't Like Hockey

It's NHL playoff time again. And no one in southern California knows what the heck is going on. There was a CA team playing in the semi-finals (granted, they lost...badly) but it seems like most people in L.A. have never even heard of the San Jose Sharks. They've heard of their L.A. Kings, but since Gretzky left, I don't think the average person on the street could name a single player from the team. Now, they could tell you Kobe's life story and what kind of candy Lamar Odom ate for dinner two nights ago, but they couldn't even name a King. When the Anaheim Ducks were in the Stanley Cup Finals a few years back, people up here complained that hockey was on TV when they went to the bars. They wanted to watch beach volleyball or something like that. The bartender, a fellow Pennsylvanian, politely informed them that they were going to watch the Stanley Cup and that they were going to like it. They had no idea who this Stanley guy was, or what he had to do with hockey, but they had no interest in finding out. So, I've been thinking about L.A.'s irrational hatred -- it's actually more like a fear, really -- L.A.'s irrational fear of hockey. I'll be discussing some thoughts and making some valid points which I hope you'll consider.

First of all, when a guy as white as me tries to promote hockey, I have to qualify myself as a non-racist. No really, I'm very white. But I totally love black people and other minorities. No, seriously. The reason hockey is my favorite sport has nothing to do with the predominance of really, really white people in the sport. Honestly though, nobody in my family was ever a Nazi -- I'm actually like 1/128th German Jew. I had an Asian pastor and a black pastor marry me to my Latina wife 8 months ago. Both sides of my family are from the North. They fought for the Union.

But I must say, I think Angelenos don't like hockey because it's too white. The players are white, the rink is white...the ice and snow that fall in the cities where people actually do like hockey...is white. And out here, it's all about hip-hop culture. It's really not that cool to be a white guy in L.A. It's like that song Pretty Fly...for a White Guy by the Offspring. The girls have to specify that he's ok...considering he's Caucasian. And those guys are from southern California. They know what it's like. I married a Latina -- well, because I love her -- but also because my kids will have at least a little bit of street cred.

But did you know there are a good many black guys in the NHL? Right now, our very own Kings have Wayne Simmonds. A couple years back, we had Anson Carter. Elsewhere in the NHL, Don Brashear, Mike Grier, and Jarome Iginla are all great hockey players of African descent...and there's a bunch more. Check this out.

But besides the whiteness, I think Angelenos are scared of the cold. This is a city where people complain as soon as the thermometer hits 59 degrees outside. They post tweets about "frigid arctic winds" at temperatures where most cities are wearing shorts and sun dresses. We can't expect them to go into a room cold enough to keep a giant floor made of ice completely frozen and have a fun time.

Also, Angelenos don't like hockey because they perceive it as an "east coast thing." The east coast threatens people from L.A. because cities like Boston, New York, and Washington get a lot of attention. Everyone who lives here thinks L.A. is the be-all and end-all of civilization, and they don't want any rival cities to steal the Southland's thunder. Enjoying hockey would almost validate the existence of all those east coast guys that annoy them so much.

And if you're wondering why the Staples Center is so full at Kings games if Angelenos don't like hockey, it's because most of those people are transplants from the northeast or northern Europe, a few of them thought they were actually headed to a Lakers game and just got the date mixed up, and the others are gangsters that fell in love with those old black Kings jerseys, and going to a game was the best excuse they could come up with to wear them again.

Example of a Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
-------------------------------
Of interest to editors and journalists covering:
lifestyles, retail, commerce, tech news, and pop culture

New Furniture Company Makes Traditional Furniture Stores Take the Back Seat
From bedroom sets to kitchenettes, Magic Dingleberry Furnishings can match your style, and they promise you'll like theirs. This new store uses a breakthrough computer program to enhance your living space.
ANAHEIM, CA - April 27, 2010 - Magic Dingleberry Furnishings, an innovative new furniture and decor company, announced its official launch this week. Georg Holzenkopf, founder of MDF, has teamed up with the same programming wizards that brought us Dunkelblau, the super-program that defeated the World Parcheesi Champion, Barry Kasparitus, in 2002. The Carnegie Mellon-based computer gurus worked with Holzenkopf to develop TasteUrSpace, a brilliant system that can select an item of furniture to perfectly fit any decor.

Furniture-shoppers simply provide TasteUrSpace with digital photographs of each room they're shopping for. Then, they tell the program what particular items they need, and TasteUrSpace instantly provides a list of recommended furnishings. The super-program calculates the ideal matches based on 1) the color of existing furnishings, walls, and floors 2) the size and shape of the room 3) the size and shape of existing furnishings, and 4) the style of existing furnishings. TasteUrSpace was designed to extract this information directly from photographs, with no additional input required.

After the list of furnishings is generated, shoppers make their selections, and they can either take home their new purchases immediately, or for a small fee, have Magic Dingleberry deliver it directly to their door within 24 hours. Says Holzenkopf, "I think our customers will be very impressed with how intuitive TasteUrSpace really is. It's truly revolutionary. And, you can expect the same great customer service you'd get from a mom and pop's furniture business."

About Magic Dingleberry Furnishings:

This company is the brainchild of entrepreneur Georg Holzenkopf. Originally a furniture designer for a local home furnishings outfit, he saw such great success, he wound up buying the furniture store he had worked at for over 3 decades. After spending 2 years developing and co-programming the TasteUrSpace software, he equipped his sales model with the new technology, and thus, Magic Dingleberry was born. Funded by monies from Holzenkopf's personal empire and private investors, you can follow Magic Dingleberry on the stock market under the abbreviation MADF.

Contact:
Georg Holzenkopf, CEO
ggholzenkopf@magicd.com
310-555-0505